integrity

gritting my teeth i stared in your eyes
i said to myself i would never lie to you
nor to myself, for that matter
but it felt so right and it felt so good
so i did.

i was being true to nobody.

nobody knew who i really was.
nobody seemed to care enough
until you started to.
i wanted to be the me i wanted me to be
but i couldn’t.

i cheated myself out of integrity.

now i’m regretting everything,
having not stayed true to myself in the circumstances.
i wonder if you would have done the same
but i think you wouldn’t have
because i did.

i cannot live without my integrity.

convictions are set in concrete with integrity as the binder.
staying true to myself is like breathing now.